My husband and I are Christians. We love God and strive to live the way He wants us to. I can not tell you how important being "equally yoked"(II Corinthians 6:14) is. Not only in faith, but also in general.
When you both are on a similar level of Christian maturity you agree more and you're able to coexist with each other more peacefully. Why? Because you have the same values, beliefs and morals. Being a Christian is by no means easy. BUT being a Christian couple is easier than being an unsaved couple. I say this because if you believe in God and what His Word says then you already have an entire book of instructions! The Bible clearly states many things in regards to marriage and the household. My husband believes that the husband is the head of the household and I agree. That does not mean he can wake me up at 2 am and demand that I make him a sandwich and I better hurry up about it. It does mean however, that I know that I can depend on him to make decisions for our family. I submit to him as he submits to me (Ephesians 5:22). I see a TON of people struggle with their spouses' inability to keep their side of the family out of their marriage. The husband runs to his mother/sister/aunt/cousin every time something happens and understandably this causes friction. Or the wife runs to her family whenever (not just for emergencies) they call, leaving her own home to fend for itself. I also see a lot of spouses' bad mouthing their partner to each others families. It's sad and harmful. The Bible has something to say about that too. Genesis 2:24 says that "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (It's the two of you together FIRST, then everyone else). So if I believe that the Bible is what I'm basing my marriage off of and he does too we shouldn't have these issues and if we do (because we're not perfect) we understand what we did wrong, ask for forgiveness and move on from it.
Through years of dating I learned that another form of being unequally yoked that can put a lot of strain on a relationship is social imbalances. I grew up one way and he grew up another. My husband has experienced this in the past as well. This issue manifests itself sporadically and often. For instance, some people are more reserved and proper in public, others are loud and just want to have fun no matter where. I am the latter, and because of that as soon as I would say "Can you please stop being so loud?" or something of that nature I'm a "party pooper", "acting bougie" etc. and next thing you know we're both upset. I love going to church ANY Sunday I don't have to work, others go when they feel like it (this can also be applied to being on different spiritual levels) because that's what they're family did. Another BIG thing that my husband and I realized is that some people grow up always doing holidays with their families (more about this convo in another post haha), and others would rather travel or stay to themselves. Traditions are HUGE in some families and if for the past 46 years, since Grandma Lou passed, everyone still meets up at Uncle Pete's for Christmas you're going to have a time convincing your spouse (and their family, because families LOVE to have a say so) that you all should go to the beach instead, or to your families house.
I am a newlywed so I am not saying that I have all the answers, or even part of the answers but what I do say I have learned from watching the flourishing decades-long relationships of my families, as well as Christian Counseling courses and good ole Sunday Morning worship, Bible Study and prayer.
*Keep a look out for part 2!*
XOXO
- The Mrs
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